And suddenly, I was on my own. And as I neared the throne area, an overwhelming cry to my Father burst from my heart and my longing for Him, the great Father of compassions and the tender Father of mercies was so intense that when my mouth opened , the cry was soundless. And it was at that time it seemed all else disappeared apart from me and my Father. And I knew that as I had been walking, even stumbling my way up the aisle of the great throne room through the thick glory, that even as the Father and the great crowd of witnesses were watching me, they saw wounded and blooded soldier, bleeding and bruised from the war in the trenches, covered in the filth of the enemy's lies and of my own disobedience, my uniform tattered and torn and filthy and again I knew that I had, in my own strength, as a soldier in the beginnings of this great End- Times battle, failed Him so miserably. And in my gross humanity, I half expected my Father to withdraw from me.

Isaiah 49 vs 15- 16

Can a women forget her suckling child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?Yea, they may forget, Yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.

Reference: Journal of the Unknown Prophet